Welcome to my Twitter reviews of the new season of Game Of Thrones. I had so much fun NOT watching The Walking Dead and reviewing it I decided to NOT watch this show too. I may be a nerd, but at least I’m a music nerd. On That Metal Show I get to interview my hard rock & heavy metal idols like Ace Frehley from Kiss and Geddy Lee from Rush. That’s like fans of this show meeting a Dungeon AND a Dragon. Possible spoilers ahead.
Season 4; Episode Seven (original air date: May 18th) “Mockingbird”
Can’t believe the show is going on hiatus. What the hell am I not gonna watch for the next 2 weeks???
On this week’s episode of Game Of Thrones: Lysa goes “In Through The Moon Door”, Ser Jorah will be the leader of all friend-zoned brothers & Cersei has played with both her brother’s c*cks.
Both c*cks? What did she do? Sit in between them and pretend she was skiing?
Tyrion was the big, little news last week but this week’s big news was Littlefinger. Myself, I prefer Stink finger. Daenerys may be the Queen of Dragons but I’m the King of The Shocker.
There was also praise for some other characters that I know absolutely nothing about:
One fan tweeted: “The Hound deserves an award for last night.” I have no idea if The Hound is man or beast.
Either he’ll win an Emmy or “Best In Show.”
Another: “Gotta admit I have a man-crush on Prince Oberyn.” I’m not saying you’re gay but you were just drafted by the St. Louis Rams.
And as usual, this episode featured a major character dying and gratuitous nudity for the tit creeps:
One viewer mused: “I wonder if Lysa was singing ‘Free Falling’ when she got pushed through the moon door?” I don’t know about that Dilbert, but I bet when she hit the rocks below she snapped like Solange Knowles in an elevator.
On the show’s nudity another wrote: “It’s really uncomfortable watching ‘GoT’ with my mother with how many boobs are in it.” That’s how I feel when I watch FOX News.
And everyone’s favorite quote on the week came from Arya:
“Nothing isn’t better or worse than anything, it’s just nothing.” Prophetic words and my review of the new Coldplay album.
Overall though, viewers thought this was one if the best episodes of the season:
One dude tweeted: “Not a good idea to watch ‘GoT’ with a hot cup of coffee in my hand!” Yeah, you’d hate to spill it and burn your vagina.
One traveling group of fans wrote: “The van is split. Half are caught up on ‘GoT’, half are not. What are the other half caught up on? Which pre-teen to snatch from the schoolyard?
Even VH1 “You Oughta Know” artist Matt Nathanson chimed in by tweeting: “Finally started watching Red Shoe Diaries With Dragons… I mean Game Of Thrones. Hey, if David Duchovny had to go to sex rehab then Prince Oberyn can’t be far behind. He’s creepier than that Michael Jackson hologram.
I asked my friend Brad what ‘GoT’ viewers are going to do while the show is off the air for the next 2 weeks. His guess: internet porn, comic book conventions and extra shifts in the IT department so they can afford to buy a chainmail shirt. Well-played old chap.