Laura’s Laughs: Don’t Be An Asshole

Don’t Be An Asshole: A Common Sense Guide To Common Courtesy In The Age Of Facebook & Low-Rise Jeans

Here’s the first installment of my etiquette book for the digital world. Why an etiquette book? I have the pleasure of being part of an over-entitled and over-parented generation who grew up believing that being yourself is just fine and everyone around should accept you for who you are. Well, if you’re kind of shitty and you’re pissing everyone off… then no, it’s not okay to be yourself. Here are some suggestions to be less shitty and maybe a little less yourself for the sake of others who have to tolerate you.

Part 1: Electronic Communication

- A Facebook wall is not a place for condolences. Really, is Grandpa’s memory best honored in between Farmville and “What Real Housewife of Miami Are You?” quiz results? Grandpa shot down Nazis. Send a sympathy card! Don’t be a Facebook Asshole.

- If you’re asking a stranger to be Facebook friends, your profile shouldn’t be on private lockdown. And include a message with your request. Don’t be a Creepy Facebook Asshole.

- You have an iPhone. You definitely got the email. Emails don’t evaporate, you’re just disorganized. Don’t be an Email Asshole.

- Thank you for replying to my email and asking questions that were answered in my first email. I’m sorry you are too busy to bother to read it and I now need to take time out of my life to repeat myself. Don’t be an Email Reply Asshole.

- Don’t “Like” your own comments or retweet your own tweets. Don’t be a Masturbatory Asshole.

- No, I’m not endorsing you on LinkedIn. We met at a BBQ. Don’t be a LinkedIn Asshole.

- You just replied to my text! Why aren’t you picking up my call?! Just don’t be an Asshole.

This post was originally published at Say Something Funny Bitch.

Laura’s Laughs is a monthly column written by Laura Mannino, an LA-based comedienne, actor, and writer. For more Laura visit her website and YouTube Channel. You can follow Laura, @lauramannino.

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