Don’t Be An Asshole: A Common Sense Guide to Common Courtesy in the Age of Facebook and Low-Rise Jeans.
A few weeks ago I posted the first chapter of my little guide of “how to stop being yourself for 30 seconds and think about the other people around you” tips. Part I was about Electronic Communication. If you need to work off a few calories after all that sitting and electronic communicating, here’s Part 2: Don’t Be Asshole at the Gym.
Dear Spin Class Lady that sprints at a 1 while the rest of us schlep up the “hill” at a 10: We’re not impressed! Follow instructions! Don’t be a spinning asshole.
If you know the treadmill next to you doesn’t work, say something to your fellow gym patron. Don’t jog silently while some poor schmuck push buttons to no avail. Don’t be a treadmill asshole.
Gym equipment is not furniture. If you have to sit on a machine & stare into space for 5 minutes in between reps, you’re not ready for that many reps. Don’t be a taking up space asshole.*
*PS – This tip is for men. Men just loooove hanging out at the gym, just sitting there, staring into space or watching ESPN while I passive aggressively hover over whatever machine they took over and turned into their own living room. Ladies, I applaud our “get in, get out” energy. We’re sweating, wearing ugly clothes and we could be doing fun things like eating, drink, sleeping and not wearing a sports bra! Why would you be in the gym a second longer than your need to be? Move!!!
Wipe. your. sweat!!!! Don’t be a disgusting piece of shit asshole at the gym.
| Laura’s Laughs is a monthly column written by Laura Mannino, an LA-based comedienne, actor, and writer. For more Laura visit her website and YouTube Channel. You can follow Laura, @lauramannino. | 
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