Dan Jamieson Twitter reviews ‘The Walking Dead’ episode 4:3

Comedian and That Metal Show co-host Don Jamieson has never seen an episode of The Walking Dead, but that’s not stopping him from reviewing the show – based solely on Tweets from people that are watching it. In his words “From what I understand via social media, this is an extremely popular show. I have not ever and will not never watch one frame of it. I am anti-pop culture. I listen only to heavy metal, the last TV series I followed was All In The Family, and Vincent Price is my favorite new actor.” He’ll be recapping other peoples’ 140-character recaps here every Monday.

Season Four: Episode Three (Original air date: October 27, 2013)

I was in Los Angeles for this week’s episode so I got to not watch it 3 hours earlier than I don’t watch it on the East Coast.

This week: Carol made a shocking confession, the governor went apeshit and shot up his army and Michonne has the hots for Rick, but Daryl gave her fleas and is in the friend zone. I got fleas from a chick once. And by fleas I mean chlamydia. One guy wrote “TWD has a great naturalistic tone & is campy fun. Then again he had his shirt off in his avatar, which makes him a douche.”

Another dude said “TWD is the thing he looks forward to the most all week.” Guess he lives in a p*ssy-free zone. Someone said Tyrese may have done the most legendary thing ever. Unless he tittie-f*cked Salma Hayek, he didn’t. A lot of younger viewers are torn between doing their homework & watching TWD. After seeing one girl tweet “My wishlist for Crismas is TWD on DVD instead of barrowing it” I’m leaning towards the homework. One dude encouraged people to get TWD stickers on #GetGlue. I wish I could but my mommy grounded me and sent me to my room without supper.

I noticed this week that a lot of the hardcore fans have blurred the lines between their real lives and the show. For example, a lot of fans say they are afraid if someone coughs on them they’ll get infected. Unless you’re sitting next to someone with bird flu, you won’t. However, you can catch zombie off a dirty toilet seat so always be sure to double TP the bowl.

One guy suggested that if they drove the new Hyundai 4WD they wouldn’t have gotten stuck on the walkers. Not only doesn’t he realize that it’s a tv show, he’s probably a car salesman which makes him almost as big a douche as the guy with his shirt off. Finally, one fan said Carl is a little prick and needs to be smacked.That would make him the Chris Brown of the show.

My friend Brad, who’s a huge horror fan, says he stopped wearing horror shirts because people come up to him and start talking about TWD. Then again, Brad is kind of angry since his girlfriend stopped licking his b*lls and his dog ran away. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Either way, he’s angry.

Remember: I don’t watch The Walking Dead so you don’t have to!

Be back here next Monday for another Tweet review of The Walking Dead and follow me at @realdonjamieson.