Welcome to my Twitter reviews of the new season of Game Of Thrones. I had so much fun NOT watching The Walking Dead and reviewing it I decided to NOT watch this show too. I may be a nerd, but at least I’m a music nerd. On That Metal Show I get to interview my hard rock & heavy metal idols like Ace Frehley from Kiss and Geddy Lee from Rush. That’s like fans of this show meeting a Dungeon AND a Dragon.
Today we pay tribute to the season finale. Possible spoilers ahead.
Season 4; Episode Ten (original air date: June 15th) “The Children”
Been so busy not giving 2 sh*ts about the World Cup I almost forgot to not give 2 sh*ts about the ‘GoT’ season finale.
On this week’s episode of Game Of Thrones: Zombie skeletons jumping out of ice, a flame-throwing elf & Tywin takes his last sh*t.
Thanks to all you nerds not wanting to give out spoilers on the internet, it was hard to figure out what happened this week. But here goes:
“Tyrion, what a boss c*nt – kills his whore then kills his dad on the sh*ta!” If you wanna see a boss cunt try being Naomi Campbell’s housekeeper.
“I think Tyrion is handsome for a little guy.” If you’re a little guy with some power women will find you attractive. Why do you think David Spade gets so much A-list p*ssy?
The Hound dies:
“Even when someone says “I’ll f*ck your sister bloody” you still feel sorry for them.” My brother-in-law just said something even worse to my sister: “We’re moving to Myrtle Beach.”
“Basically Brienne of Tarth is Mike Tyson now.” Which means either she bit off the Hound’s ear or she raped him an Indianapolis hotel room.
Tywin dies mid-bowel movement:
“Death on the toilet. Horrifying.” Tywin Lannister now known as the Elvis Presley of Westeros. You know, if Elvis gave birth to a homicidal imp with mad crossbow skills.
“Tyrion just took Father’s Day to a whole new level.” My Dad almost died on the toilet yesterday too. That’s the last time I take him to Waffle House for breakfast.
The best show quote of the week:
“A woman’s life is 9 parts mess to one part magic.” True! Courtney Love is the perfect example (minus the one part magic part).
Overall, all of geekdom was lamenting that it will be another 10 months until Season 5:
“OMG, my head hurt. It can’t be over again. Not another year. Please, no!” Don’t know if that was someone upset that ‘GoT’ is over or a quote from LeBron James.
Even basketball player Iman Shumpert joined the Twitter conversation:
“Emilia Clarke should just roc the gray hair on a day to day.” Good to see you working hard in the off-season Iman. Instead of watching tv, how about working on the jumper? Signed – every fan of the NY Knicks.
My favorite tweet of the season comes from a fan named Jesse:
“Literally everything in my Twitter feed is ‘GoT’.” Jesse, it’s why I do what I do!
My friend Brad didn’t answer my texts to comment on the finale. But then again he just got a new roommate through Craiglist, which means it’s highly likely he’s no longer with us. RIP Brad.