Welcome to my Twitter reviews of the new season of Game Of Thrones. I had so much fun NOT watching The Walking Dead and reviewing it I decided to NOT watch this show too. I may be a nerd, but at least I’m a music nerd. On That Metal Show I get to interview my hard rock & heavy metal idols like Ace Frehley from Kiss and Geddy Lee from Rush. That’s like fans of this show meeting a Dungeon AND a Dragon. Possible spoilers ahead.
Season 4; Episode Two (original air date: April 13th) “The Lion & The Sword”
On this week’s episode of Game Of Thrones: It’s a nice day for a Purple Wedding, Joffrey’s face turns the color of a baboon’s ass & the King dies at his own nuptials!
I almost died at a wedding too. It was a Jewish wedding and the groom weighed like 350 pounds. The whole wedding party almost had a coronary trying to lift him above our heads in the chair. Mazel Tov!
One nerd wrote: “I will be humming the ‘Joffrey Dead’ song all day today at work. I feel glorious.” Hope the other people behind the counter at Burger King don’t mind.
Another said: “George RR Martin should never plan a wedding. Bad things happen.” The only way you’re getting married is if you propose to one of your ‘GoT’ action figures.
One dorkette wrote: “Westeros is the world’s worst wedding destination.” Whoever wrote that has obviously never honeymooned in Detroit.
Another fan speculated that with Joffrey being dead that Iwan Rheon would be the resident dickhead now. Unless, of course, they hire Alec Baldwin as a regular.
Lots of viewers commented on how Maragery Tyrell can’t stay married for very long. True. At least she didn’t call it “conscious uncoupling.”
The actor Zach Braff actually chimed in too: “How do you bake live doves into a pie?” Wow, would’ve never guessed he was into nerdy stuff.
One doofus wrote: “The world is so much better without Joffrey in it.” Dork, do you realize you don’t live in Westeros and carry a sword? You live in Ronkonkoma and wear a pocket-protector.
Lots of fans were out for blood. One spaz wrote: “I think his death should’ve been slow and painful.” Kind of like combing through Twitter for ‘GoT’ quotes.
Love the ‘GoT’ snobs who have to point out the difference between the books and the TV show. Is that supposed to make you cool? That’s like painting flames on the gas tank of a Vespa.
Those same people are also pissed off about the spoiler alerts on the internet. You read the nerd books, you watch the nerd show and you read what other nerds say on the internet. Here’s something new you should know about: LIFE. Try living one.
There’s even a ‘GoT’ beer. Pairs well with loneliness, social dysfunction & sexual frustration.
My friend Brad is such a colossal dick that he calls and texts everyone he knows who watches ‘GoT’ during the show just to make them miss parts of it. What an asshole move. I love Brad.
R.I.P. Otto Peterson