Welcome to my Twitter reviews of the new season of Game Of Thrones. I had so much fun NOT watching The Walking Dead and reviewing it I decided to NOT watch this show too. I may be a nerd, but at least I’m a music nerd. On That Metal Show I get to interview my hard rock & heavy metal idols like Ace Frehley from Kiss and Geddy Lee from Rush. That’s like fans of this show meeting a Dungeon AND a Dragon. Possible spoilers ahead.
Season 4; Episode Three (original air date: April 20th) “Breaker of Chains”
I was lucky this week to be able to not watch ‘GoT’ what with Easter and all. Luckily I DVR’d and was able to not
watch it this morning.
And don’t worry I’m not going to use this column to make a bunch of tasteless rape jokes. It’s the year 2014 people. Raping your sister next to the dead body of your incestuous son humor is SO 2013.
On this week’s rape-y episode of Game Of Thrones: Jaime finds Cersei rape-alicious, incest is best & “folk gotta learn how to lock they door when they havin’ a damn orgy!” (Boy is that Lord Tywin a cockblocker!)
When T.S. Eliot wrote in “The Waste Land” that April was the cruelest month I don’t think he had this episode in mind. Although a lot of bad shit has happened in April. Like the Apollo 13 crew almost dying after an oxygen tank exploded. In other words, Westeros, We Have A Problem.
Viewers were totally up in arms over this week, wondering if the show has finally gone too far. I think people are really over-reacting. This is just the modern version of Angelina Jolie making out with her brother. Remember that? That was consensual. Nobody called him a rapist. I mean she used to wear vials of blood around her neck so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he once forcefully banged her next to a corpse (or as he likes to call himself Billy Bob Thornton).
“Why have the Gods made me love a hateful woman?” cried Jaime. Now he knows how whoever dates Anne Coulter feels.
The director actually had to release a statement saying that he felt Jaime didn’t rape his sister, that the sex was consensual. Bet that’s the last time they let Mike Tyson guest-direct an episode.
One horny dweebette tweeted: “I normally love watching a good rough sex scene but the Jaime/Cersei thing made me so uncomfortable.” Okay I totally get that. At least she admitted she’s into some hardcore action. Just a little surprised Taylor Swift would confess something like that on Twitter.
One dude wrote: ‘GoT’ is just the illest thing on tv right now. Oh yeah, you ever see My 600 Pound Life? Totally ill. Not healthy at all.
One sensible tweeter wrote: “I don’t watch ‘GoT’ I just watch people freak out over it. That’s entertainment enough for me.” Bingo! Whoever you are, please get in touch with The Laugh Button about a writing position.
My friend Brad claims they stole the whole rape thing from old Cosby episode where Theo does that to Denise. Not funny Brad. Not funny at all. What an idiot he is. Everyone knows the Brady Bunch did that schtick YEARS before.
Remember kids, April rapings brings May STD’s!