Welcome to my Twitter reviews of the new season of Game Of Thrones. I had so much fun NOT watching The Walking Dead and reviewing it I decided to NOT watch this show too. I may be a nerd, but at least I’m a music nerd. On That Metal Show I get to interview my hard rock & heavy metal idols like Ace Frehley from Kiss and Geddy Lee from Rush. That’s like fans of this show meeting a Dungeon AND a Dragon. Possible spoilers ahead.
Season 4; Episode Four (original air date: April 27th) “Oathkeeper”
On this week’s episode of ‘Game Of Thrones’: “The Mother Of Dragons ain’t playing,” “Bron bitch-slapped Jamie with his own pimp hand” and “Ain’t nobody got time for the Game of Thrones opening credits!”
But the big reveal was that Olenna & Littlefinger killed King Joffrey. Which was almost as exciting to me as hearing what level my aunt’s made it to on ‘Candy Crush’.
Other than that, the tweets about this week’s episode were totally random. Here are some of them:
“I wish Littlefinger would pick one accent and stick with it. He’s getting more Irish as the season continues.” If they want an annoying Irish dude on the show they should hire Bono. Or
Sinéad O’Connor. He’s really annoying.
“Am I the only one who speaks in a British accent after watching ‘GoT’?” Yes. You’re the Madonna of dorks.
“Lindsey’s sword would be called ‘Sprinkles’ and mine would be ‘Crack Witch’.” No, yours would be called ‘Dork Witch’.
“Can’t make up my mind about Jamie Lannister. One minute he’s being lovely, the next a dick.” Which makes him the Chris Brown of Westeros (minus the part where he’s sometimes lovely).
“There is a black White Walker in ‘GoT’ and yes, all the white White Walkers are awkward about it.” Wow, didn’t realize Donald Sterling was a fan AND on Twitter.
“Have to wait for the rents to go to bed before I can watch ‘GoT’.” What’s happened to the youth of today? I used to wait for my parents to go to bed so I look at Playboys I found in the woods and jerkoff into a sock. We were so much more sophisticated back then. Plus we didn’t use cringe-worthy expressions like “the rents.”
“I swear Khalessi freed more slaves than Abraham Lincoln.” Yeah but that’s only because there’s no theatres in Westeros.
“Wow, Daenerys is getting scary.” Oh yeah. Have you watched Nancy Grace lately?
“I’m going to miss Joffrey because hating him was so much fun.” Kind of the same way I feel about A-Rod (It’s a sports joke. Ask a Yankee fan to explain it to you. They are a baseball team).
And finally, my favorite for Dweeb Of The Year wrote:
“OMG Game Of Thrones is the best thing ever.” No, cumming is.
My friend Brad confessed that he has a phobia of little people, which is why he can’t watch ‘GoT’. Or the footage of Paul Simon being arrested.