Don Jamieson Twitter Reviews “Game of Thrones,” episode 4:5

Welcome to my Twitter reviews of the new season of Game Of Thrones. I had so much fun NOT watching The Walking Dead and reviewing it I decided to NOT watch this show too. I may be a nerd, but at least I’m a music nerd. On That Metal Show I get to interview my hard rock & heavy metal idols like Ace Frehley from Kiss and Geddy Lee from Rush. That’s like fans of this show meeting a Dungeon AND a Dragon. Possible spoilers ahead.

Season 4; Episode Five (original air date: May 4th) “First Of His Name”

In the middle of not giving zero fucks about Star Wars Day yesterday, I hardly had the time to NOT watch.

On this week’s episode of Game Of Thrones: Bitches don’t have any time for any shit from the men on this show, Hodor is sick of your shit and he won’t take it no modor & seriously, Sansa cannot catch a break.

The great movie director Jon Favreau tweeted: “Do white walkers age or are we going to see an army of inbred zombie babies on ‘GoT’?” Great question John but if you really want to see inbred zombie babies just turn on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Also, put me in a film.

Between stabbing a dude in the face with a sword and yet another rape scene, one dweebette wondered: “Is anyone on ‘GoT’ mentally fit? I swear everyone deserves a turn on a therapist’s couch.” I think the same thing every time I watch the Oscars.

Regarding the aforementioned stabbing scene one dork tweeted: “The sword through the mouth scene was a bit shocking.” Imagine how shocking the tiger’s teeth through the head scene was for Siegfried & Roy.

Speaking of funny moments, one chick noted: “Pod and Brienne are absolutely hilarious!!!” Yeah I’m sure they’re a regular Rowan & Martin.

One viewer took some practical advice from this week’s nerdfest saying: “If there’s anything I’ve learned from ‘GoT’ it’s that I need a wolf.” Don’t mean to be a stickler but you misspelled “life.”

Another viewer noted that Arya’s list is getting longer than it is shorter. Mine too. Except my list is of STD’s.

Personally I like the people who readily admit that following the series is more confusing than Bruce Jenner’s sexuality. One said: “I have a theory that nobody REALLY knows what’s going on in ‘GoT’.”

Another: “I don’t understand 95% of what happens in a ‘GoT’ episode.”

And yet another: “GoT’ is the only show I watch that I can’t remember 90% of the character’s names.”

Which leads to my favorite quote of the show that I didn’t hear: “Always keep your foes confused.” Also, your viewers apparently.

My friend Brad said his new girlfriend is so hot he’d actually start watching ‘GoT’ with her if she asked. Luckily her cable has been out for a month and she keeps forgetting to call about it. It pays to date a stoner. Plus, there’s always good snacks around the house

Follow me at @realdonjamieson & pick up my new stand-up disc “Hell Bent For Laughter” on iTunes or get the CD on Metal Blade’s website.