Welcome to my Twitter reviews of the new season of Game Of Thrones. I had so much fun NOT watching The Walking Dead and reviewing it I decided to NOT watch this show too. I may be a nerd, but at least I’m a music nerd. On That Metal Show I get to interview my hard rock & heavy metal idols like Ace Frehley from Kiss and Geddy Lee from Rush. That’s like fans of this show meeting a Dungeon AND a Dragon. Possible spoilers ahead.
Season 4; Episode Nine (original air date: June 8th) “The Watchers On The Wall”
Last night was an AMAZING night for not watching television. Completely ignored both the The Tony Awards AND Game Of Thrones!
On this week’s episode of Game Of Thrones: Giants, Mammoths, Wolves & Jon Snow knows nothing!
After last week all the geeks in dorkland were pumped for this week’s episode:
“About to watch ‘GoT’ and I know it’s gonna be juicy as f*ck.” Really? Try looking at pictures of Kate Upton’s t*ts.
Yes, this week it was all about Jon Snow as was evidenced by the mountain of nerd tweets:
“This episode is all about Jon Snow, I mean the guy who knows nothing.” Same as The Glenn Beck show.
“Jon Snow your sad, constipated face never looked more sad & constipated than it did tonight.” Oh yeah, have you seen Rene Zellweger lately?
“If Jon Snow dies tonight I’m going to f*ck sh*t up.” Really? What are you going to do? Knock over your Lord Of The Rings action figures & rip the Star Wars posters off your wall?
Most dweebs agreed that overall, this was one of the best episodes of the season:
“I audibly let out ‘This is so f*cking cool’ every 60 seconds during this episode.” The only time you should be yelling that out is if you’re getting blown by 2 porn stars.
“I watched the battle like it was a sports game.” Really? Were you calling Jon Snow a pussy for cramping up at the end of the battle?
“My favorite part was the giants riding the mammoths in.” If I wanna see a mammoth getting ridden I’ll peek in Mama June’s bedroom window.
“This episode proves many of life’s problems can be solved by a giant shooting an arrow the size of a telephone pole.” Sure, as long as you have better aim than 50 Cent’s first pitch.
“If I were King of the Seven Kingdoms I’d rule with an iron fist.” No you wouldn’t. You’d rule with a Homer Simpson t-shirt & a pair of Google glasses.
But one disgruntled viewer disagreed:
“I am so over the Lannisters. They are seriously horrible people who suck others into their drama.” I’m sorry but I believe you misspelled the Jacksons.
One international dork tweeted:
“Right now half of India is watching ‘GoT’ & the other is watching ‘Jhalak Dhiklaja’.” Watch for my Twitter reviews of the next season of ‘Jhalak Dhiklaja’ for The Laugh Button New Delhi.
But the most cringe-worthy tweet of the week was this one:
“Smoking a bowl then watching ‘GoT’. #stepfatherbonding.” Wow. Maybe if you’re lucky there’ll be an open-mouth kiss & some light petting. But remember, don’t tell Mom!
My friend Brad was MIA again this week as he was moving from Cincinnati to Louisville which is the like going from watching Girls to Downton Abbey.