Don Jamieson Twitter reviews ‘The Walking Dead’ episode 4:2

Another Sunday night, another night not watching The Walking Dead. But after reading everyone’s tweets, here is my review:

Season Four: Episode Two (Original air date: October 20, 2013)

Last night’s episode featured dead pigs & rats, a woman named Carol who killed her husband in front of her daughters and was “Cray cray crazyyy as fckkk!”

The big question on everyone’s mind: Who will be the first to get shot now that Carl has his gun again? Sounds to me like Carl is the George Zimmerman of TWD. Just to be safe, I wouldn’t wear a hoodie or eat Skittles around him.

Also, Maggie has to keep her shit together. Maggie sounds like the Amanda Bynes of TWD. If at any point Maggie throws a bong out a window or says she wants Drake to murder her vagina, get her into protective custody immediately.

According to some, Beth should stop singing. I know a lot of chicks like that – Britney Spears, Rebecca Black, Justin Bieber & Yoko Ono if she’s still alive.

Rick said you gotta feed walkers with bacon. I have no idea what this means but I’m getting sick of this whole bacon craze. It all started so hipsters could sit around and ironically drink bacon soda or eat bacon ice cream while ironically wearing a Star Trek t-shirt and ironic smart glasses.

And speaking of dorks, a lot of people were inviting others to talk about TWD on something called #GetGlue. I have no idea what #GetGlue is but it’s GOTTA be some site where nerds congregate. I’m not even gonna go to that site because I don’t want to start getting pop-ups on my computer for skinny jeans and the new Belle & Sebastian album.

Some of the comments were entertaining. One dude mentioned that if you see a hot actress one week, they will be dead by the next week. Hence, adding Sarah Jessica Parker or anyone from The View to the cast will GUARANTEE a new character that will last the entire season.

One girl said “I had a frickin heart attack with the whole bathroom scene. I cringed the whole time.” Now she knows how my chick feels when she cleans my toilet.

Another said: “There’s a sickness in the Walking Dead prison and it’s spreading.” Yes, it’s called getting your salad tossed by your cellmate and it’s the only way I’ll ever have that done again since my chick started cleaning my toilet.

One of the quotes I saw from the show was, “When you care about people, getting hurt is part of the package.” If I ever get married, I’m adding this to my wedding vows.

But the only comment that made me actually want to watch the show came from someone who tweeted: “Daam he ate that nigga neck.” Now that’s funny. You can always count on Gwyneth Paltrow for a good laugh on Twitter.

And finally, LOTS of people cleverly noted that you shouldn’t eat while watching the show, shouldn’t watch it before bed or that they drank so much over the weekend that they actually feel like The Walking Dead. Ecch. Either these people don’t have a creative bone in their body or they’re writers for 2 Broke Girls.

Be back here next Monday for another Tweet review of The Walking Dead and follow me at @realdonjamieson.

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