Don Jamieson Twitter reviews ‘The Walking Dead’ episode 4:4

Comedian and That Metal Show co-host Don Jamieson has never seen an episode of The Walking Dead, but that’s not stopping him from reviewing the show – based solely on Tweets from people that are watching it. In his words “From what I understand via social media, this is an extremely popular show. I have not ever and will not never watch one frame of it. I am anti-pop culture. I listen only to heavy metal, the last TV series I followed was All In The Family, and Vincent Price is my favorite new actor.” He’ll be recapping other peoples’ 140-character recaps here every Monday.

Season Four: Episode Four (Original air date: November 3, 2013)

On this week’s episode of The Walking Dead: Rick makes a big decision, the flu is wiping everyone out, being around all these white people is making Michone soft and everyone is PISSED that Carol is off the show.

Rick took a lot of heat in this week’s episode. One female viewer tweeted “Rick is so hypocritical. He killed four people in cold blood” and “Annoyed to the point of not watching it anymore. Fck Rick! He’s an idiot!!”

But then another girl tweeted that “Rick is husband material.” This must be one of those chicks that writes to dudes in prison & then ends up marrying one of the Menendez Brothers.

The majority thought that it was a very SAD episode. Many viewers said they cried. One girl pissed herself. I once dated a girl who pissed herself when she drank too much.  I’d be lying in bed and all of a sudden I’d feel this warmth start to envelope me. Like a golden puddle of comfort.

Many viewers said they dreamt that they were part of TWD. It’s common to dream about the last thing you see before going to bed. That’s why last night I dreamt about seeing my neighbor’s wife changing through her bedroom window.

I guess that’s why a lot of viewers like to record it and watch it Monday morning. Once girl wrote “I got spam, eggs & orange juice for breakfast and starting the day by watching TWD.” Who the fuck still eats Spam? Unless you’re 97 years old or have a Monty Python obsession you shouldn’t be eating that gelatinous garbage while watching any show.

Again the debate about whether or not to do homework or watch the show was a big topic. Here are some examples:

“Homework..or walking dead…common, that ones easy”

“I bearly realized I missed TWD lastnight”

“Was eating while watching TWD #grose”

“My roommate came home to me laying on the couch drunk and watching TWD.  I’m a winnar.”

Not you’re not. You’re a LOSAR. Arvind Mahankali won the 2013 Scripps National Spelling Bee just by spelling HIS NAME! Now that kid is a WINNAR!

The most cringe-worthy thing now is that #TeamCarol & #TeamRick are trending. One viewer even wished there were Team Carol shirts. I’d rather wear a shirt that said NAMBLA on it.

But the biggest thing I learned was that a lot of viewers think the show is starting to suck. Someone tweeted “Season 4 can’t get more pointless.” Guess this person has never seen Snooki & JWoww.

One dude wrote “The Walking Dead!!!! You’re fucking out!!!!!!! Sunday nights are for Eastbound & Down only!!!!!!!!!!!!” You know, give or take a few exclamation points.” I don’t know what ‘EB&D’ is but it sounds like another great show for me not to watch.

Another guy wrote “Fuck The Walking Dead. Hire some writers already. I’m done.” Hire some writers? Has he ever seen 2 Broke Girls? The writing is better in 2 Girls, 1 Cup.

My favorite is the dude who wrote “It’s a show about performing menial tasks with zombies in the background.” Hmm, kind of like being a housekeeper for the Kardashians.

I asked my friend Brad if he watched TWD this week. He said he’d rather watch the dying breath of his grandfather again. Brad is a funny guy. Except when he texts me naked pics of Tony Danza.

Be back here next Monday for another Tweet review of The Walking Dead and follow me at @realdonjamieson.