Comedian and That Metal Show co-host Don Jamieson has never seen an episode of The Walking Dead, but that’s not stopping him from reviewing the show – based solely on Tweets from people that are watching it. In his words “From what I understand via social media, this is an extremely popular show. I have not ever and will not never watch one frame of it. I am anti-pop culture. I listen only to heavy metal, the last TV series I followed was All In The Family, and Vincent Price is my favorite new actor.” He’ll be recapping other peoples’ 140-character recaps here every Monday.
Season Four: Episode Eight (Original air date: December 1, 2013) “Too Far Gone”
On this week’s episode of The Walking Dead: Hershel is dead, the Governor is dead & “FAAAKKK…THERE…IS…SO…MUCH…KILLING!”
This week people really reacted strongly to the mid-season cliffhanger. For example, one narcoleptic viewer tweeted: “I couldn’t sleep the entire night after watching TWD.” Really? Give Conrad Murray a call. He did wonders for Michael Jackson. And he’ll hold your penis. One incontinent bastard said: “Just watched TWD from last night & shat in my pants.” I doubt that was because of the show. Maybe you just have a spastic colon. Try some bran flakes and a butt plug. Some emotionally unbalanced viewer wrote: “Don’t mind me crying like a baby in my bed all disappointed.” Sounds like my girlfriend after sex.
One girl said she covered her mouth for most of the episode. I covered my mouth for most of the football game last night. But that’s because I still had awful hot dog burps coming up from lunch. Gross. Another over-exaggerator tweeted: “Physically shaking after watching TWD mid-season finale.” That actually happened to me yesterday while watching the NY Jets game. But only because I ran out of beer. One total lunatic said: “First Paul Walker & now Hershel, WTF?” Hey genius, Paul Walker is a real person. Hershel is a fictional character. The actor who plays Hershel didn’t actually die. I know you live your life through television but try to separate the two. When Kennedy was assassinated do you think anyone said, “First JFK & now Hoss from Bonanza, WTF?”
This poor viewer wrote: “I’m crying…I can’t handle this.” Unless you’re getting nailed by Tommy Lee or you’re more unstable than Gary Busey, I’m pretty sure you can make it through an hour of tv. One drama queen said: “Needed a paper bag during TWD last night…I totally hyperventilated.” No you didn’t. The only way that was happening is if you were sitting in an idling car with the garage door closed. If TWD is really causing all these medical conditions maybe it’s a good thing there’s a 2-month break. In the meantime they should do a “very special” Dr. Oz dealing with all the ailments & conditions caused by TWD. And if they do, I’ll be the first one to not watch it.
Finally one desperate viewer tweeted: “TWD doesn’t return until February #reasonstocry.” Was it really? A death in the family, finding out you have cancer or having to watch yet another Progressive Insurance commercial are #reasonstocry. Not a trendy tv show hiatus. I asked my friend Brad what’s the most extreme reaction he’s ever had to a tv show. He said he got a boner during the Friends season finale (he’s always had a man-crush on Chandler). Now that TWD is taking a long break, I don’t know what I’m gonna NOT watch now until February 9th.