If Jen Kwok knows anything, it’s how to play the ukulele…and about the joys and horrors of dating in NYC. After seeing her perform last week at Upright Citizens Brigade and sing us some dating advice, we asked her if she wouldn’t mind giving our readers some simple tips!
Here is her Top 10 Ways to Screw Up A Date…fellas, take notice!
Top 10 Ways To Screw Up A Date
Getting Crunk: This is not the time to show off how rambly, red-faced or puke-y you can get.
Looking Wack: Another human will literally be staring at/inadvertently smelling you from a 3-foot radius for hours. Shower and groom accordingly.
Krumping: Even if you are really good.
Talking about Religion/Sex/Politics/Exes: These topics are not your opportunity to appear moral/edgy/smart/not as “crazy” as at least one person in the world. They are your opportunity to fall into a pit of feet that will somehow all end up in your mouth.
Over Complimenting: This is a one way ticket to Creepytown. Add heavy mouth breathing and you’ve got yourself a Philip Seymour Hoffman moment.
Getting all Judge-y: You’re both here to give another human being a chance, so don’t get too harsh on a person – unless he or she is totally groooossss.
Picking a Wacky Date Activity: Batting cages and hip hop trapeze workshops don’t work on reality shows, and they don’t work in real life.
Answering the Phone or Texting: Only acceptable if you’re an undercover crime fighting superhero.
Treating the date like an interview or ice breaker exercise: Who cares about your strengths and weaknesses and/or why dolphins are your favorite animal? Have an actual conversation.
Being someone other than yourself: Your true personality’s gonna come out eventually. Imagine it coming out after you’ve already established another one. Awkward.