Zach Reinert is already becoming the next big one-liner comic. Based out of Denver, Colorado, Zach is celebrating the release of his album A Boatload of Jokes gaining new fans and followers from across America.
And as an American, it is a civil duty to follow the law. There’s no escaping jury duty. Instead of a traditional interview, comedian (and potential juror) Zach has agreed to this totally legally-binding questionnaire.
Your Full Name
Your Date of Birth
What is your gender?
What is the highest level of education completed?
911 operator, but I couldn’t stop saying, “Holy sh*t, that sucks,” to people.
What is your marital status?
Taken. But not the second or third movie.
Your Spouse’s Name?
Your Spouse’s Occupation?
Vice President (VP)
Do you and your spouse share in the responsibility of a child/children? Please list any names, ages, and occupations.
Chad. He’s 7 (I think) and he makes iPads. He lives in China.
Have you served as a juror on a prior case?
Yes, and I don’t like to name-drop but I did get out of the case because I knew the killer.
Have you or any family member been involved in a lawsuit?
Unfortunately, yes. Currently I’m suing James Corden for stealing my Cats script.
Have you or any family member been charged with any criminal offenses?
One time, I walked in on my mom getting put into hand cuffs. It was awful, because they were fuzzy and she was having a great time.
Have you or any family member served or serve in the military?
Yeah, I was the Marines, and I hate when people ask me what the worst thing I saw was while I was in. But it’s definitely The Happening by M. Knight Shymalan.
Do you have any relative, close friend, or neighbor who is engaged in law enforcement?
No, but I did think of a pretty good idea for a Blue Lives Matter-themed liquor store called Boot Liquor.
Do you have any medical, personal, or financial problem that would prevent you from serving on this jury?
Personal and financial. If I don’t get $1,000,000 by tomorrow, they’re gonna kill my son Chad.
A Boatload of Jokes is available here.