In a world obsessed with social distancing, I think we all can admit there’s nobody who has done it better than Larry David. The world he likes to live in was built for such an instance. Staying six feet away from people? An excuse to cancel a dinner meeting you really don’t want to go to? Hell, his coffee shop even has a bottle of hand sanitizer on every table. Although if he tried to do the last one now, it would require having to bolt every bottle to the table, for fear of someone running out with it.
There is no one better to be a social distancing mascot than Larry David. We can actually envision him wanting to quarantine by preference. So if there’s anyone that can save us from this pandemic, it’s the most neurotic, anti-social character on television, right? We could all learn a thing or two from the guy who says all the things our filter never would allow us to.
Even Curb Your Enthusiasm’s executive producer Jeff Schafer sees the similarities, stating “Larry has been practicing social distancing his whole life, so some of the stuff is just innate to him,” Schaffer said in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter. “He has been trying to teach people how to behave that way for years. Maybe now people would finally listen.”
Below are some prime tips of some things we could all do, Larry David style.
Wearing a MAGA Hat to keep people away
Don’t want someone sitting next to you at the sushi bar? Don’t want to have lunch with someone you don’t really like? A simple MAGA hat will do the trick. It’s a quick, sure-fire way to get out of that meeting with the person you have to pretend to like or get the entire sushi bar to yourself.
Larry won’t shake Ben Stiller’s sneeze hand
Why would you ever expect someone to shake the hand you just sneezed into? That’s completely not sanitary and just rude. And yet LD is now the rude one for not shaking your hand? Doesn’t exactly seem fair to us.
Or touch a sick Laverne Cox
Similarly, David has always been conscious about not wanting to get sick or attract germs. To the extent of not wanting to give you a hug, even if you have a cold. And once again, he gets chastised for this pretty sensible decision.
Larry teaches us about the Happy Birthday rule
The rule of having to sing Happy Birthday twice is in the news, even though it’s something most people already knew but chose to ignore. Larry David, as seen here in Woody Allen’s Whatever Works, was practicing the rule regularly even over 10 years ago.
Larry David won’t even shake Jake Gyllenhaal’s hand
This one is just a month old, in the wake of the coronavirus. Backstage at SNL, Jake Gyllenhaal made the mistake of wanting to meet Larry David and shake his hand. And things pretty much went exactly as you imagine they would…
And now…a behind-the-scenes moment with Jake Gyllenhaal and Larry David. pic.twitter.com/AlGM63U9ZB
— Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) March 1, 2020