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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#50 – Three Billionaires Walked Onto a Launchpad

July 21, 2021

There are 50 states in the United States, 50 ways to leave your lover, 50 is the age when you become eligible to join AARP, and this is episode #50 of Lewis Black’s Rantcast! Those 50 episodes have contained many recurring themes from impending and present climate catastrophe to the Covid-19 pandemic to rich people not wanting to pay taxes to the sclerotic machinations of a nearly psychotic nation whose politicians, particularly those who follow the former leader, cannot seem to escape from a nihilistic doom cycle. And this episode does not disappoint.

Around the planet, from the wildfires in the US west to the biblical floods in Western Europe, the ravages of global warming can no longer be ignored or escaped. Except that is, if you happen to be one of the nation’s benighted billionaires who launch themselves into what may or not be space on an almost daily basis. They say it’s for “space tourism” but we all know that it’s to save themselves from the defiled planet the rest of us have as our only residence. Back on terra firma, the vaccination rate in the US has stalled as many of the former leader’s followers apparently would rather die than upset him or accept that they are in a cult. These are generally the same people who continuously spout the same tired and false claims about taxation, voter fraud, and health care. As such, your host believes that there’s only one person who can save these lost souls from certain damnation. Tune in to find out who it is. Also, it’s time to retire the emu from selling insurance.

This week’s rants also hit on some of the recurring themes, including voting rights in Texas, gun violence and the language of violence in a violent society, and the pandemic. Other rants hit a little closer to home with ones about children who want dessert for breakfast, dealing with contractors who won’t show up to the job, and a heartwarming story of a husband who knows that the less said about his spouse’s shopping habits the better.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#49 – Jeff Bezos Is An Evil Overlord

July 14, 2021

Three billionaires are currently in a race to get to space, of course there’s nothing more pressing to the people of earth right now than to have the news spend a Sunday morning talking about it. In a time when people are having trouble paying for healthcare or a house, we have the news giving us commercials for something only rich people can do. It’s conflicting, because while space exploration is important, this is such a weird time for this to happen. When we have a cracked system from the pandemic it’s Virgins vs Amazons dominating the Sunday news cycle. But hey! With any luck, a petition to keep at least one of the evil overlords in space could help us out, right?

Meanwhile, on the ground people are still fighting science. Both with the vaccine to bring the pandemic to its knees or the fact that half of the US is on fire because of climate change. Lewis is considering turning the articles he reads about it in to his act, just a reading the facts to get chuckles.

The rants this week continue to explore people’s anger toward what it means to act like an American and degradation of what it means to fly the flag these days. The simple lack of respect people have when it comes to returning a shipping cart where they belong. The growing disdain for how bosses are treating their employees, whether it be blue collar work or on the healthcare frontlines; one in particular hitting Lewis personally as it relates to care for the elderly. A military vet who feels the current military has become soft. Ending with a rant about how the politicization of the COVID vaccines have divided families.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

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New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#48 – The Dogs Get Depressed

July 7, 2021

Since the founding of the Republican party in the mid-1850s, politics has been dominated by a two-party system that clearly isn’t working too well anymore. Third parties have been tried before, from Teddy Roosevelt’s Bull Moose Party to Strom Thurmond’s Dixiecrats to Ross Perot’s Reform party to current incarnations like the Libertarian Party and the Green Party. None have achieved much lasting electoral success. So, given the current state of American politics, the time may now be right for the Rubber Chicken Party. The RCP has one platform: empathy for the citizenry. While many human elected officials seem to only have empathy for corporations, a legislative branch of rubber chickens will definitely have more compassion for the people, and will be better equipped to represent the voters rather than multinational corporations. Never mind a chicken in every pot, it’s time for a rubber chicken in every seat in Congress! (As an aside, it was not Huey Long, or Herbert Hoover who first said, “a chicken in every pot”. At his coronation in 1589, French King Henry IV vowed that he would make the peasants of France so prosperous that each would, “have a chicken in his pot on Sunday.”)

Our elected leaders could also take an empathy lesson from the search dogs at the site of the collapsed Champlain Towers South in Surfside, FL. Many have become depressed because after long hours of searching, they are not finding living people. If we can’t wait for the advent of the RCP, the least we could do is send our Representatives and Senators (and some Governors too) to Florida to take lessons on how to act with empathy, with reverence for the humanity in all our fellow humans. The alternative is more weeks where the cascade of news brings stories like the Supreme Court celebrating Independence Day by making it harder for people to vote and Bill Cosby getting out of prison. We could take a lesson from the Germans, who, while also pulling their troops out of Afghanistan, have prioritized removing all of their alcohol before a single soldier returns home. This is a move that is both culturally sensitive and eminently practical. If we can learn from other humans, maybe we will get more stories like the fact that the name Karen has plummeted in the baby name rankings. And that’s having empathy for your child, which is a good place to start.

The pandemic has broken many things about our society and as we emerge from its ravages, we are all acting a little strange. For instance, your host has taken to watching soccer as he needs the distraction and dreams of a European Vacation. And if the rants this week are any indication, the ability to handle interpersonal communications has greatly diminished. As such, we have submissions about working in customer escalations, calling customer support, doctors who don’t keep their appointments, and dealing with government bureaucracy. Plus, a rant about how living in Switzerland has made one ex-pat want to simultaneously be a capitalist and kill all the capitalists. It’s a great summation of the paradox of our times.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

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Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#47 – Stopping Voter Frogs

June 30, 2021

Do you follow @TheLewisBlack on Twitter? If not, you may have missed one of his recent posts about the irony of Senate Republicans voting to not vote about voting rights, thereby killing (for now) HR 1. The usual reactionary backlash emerged as some in the Twitterverse did not get the joke, or were under the impression that what Lewis says has an actual impact on what happens in the halls of Congress. The point was that if it’s so important to Republicans that this not become the law of the land, they could do the citizenry the favor of actually debating the issue, giving their side of the argument and outlining exactly what they think will happen if the law passes. Instead we got Grand Guignol political theater, minus the visible puppet strings.

The Rantcast was on vacation last week as Lewis ventured south to check in on his mom, and to visit his alma mater, the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. UNC has been in the news lately as the board of trustees intervened in the hiring of Nikole Hannah-Jones to be a tenured professor in the university’s School of Journalism and Media. Some of the trustees were upset with Ms. Hannah-Jones involvement in the Pulitzer-prize winning 1619 Project, which reframed American history with the origins and consequences of slavery as its centering theme. This is an academic debate that should be left to the academic community to engage with, and whether they eventually give her tenure or not, the history will get told with or without the support of the UNC Trustees. [Breaking news: The Board of Trustees will hold a vote on tenure for Ms. Hannah-Jones on June 30th.]

Much more happened this week, especially in the world of academia, but the big news is that Lewis will be performing live, for the first time since the start of the Pandemic, at the Chautauqua Institution. So, if you’re in the middle of very rural upstate New York on Monday, July 26th, check it out.

While one of the ranters this week has been disappointed by Lewis’ occasional failure to pronounce words correctly, he nails the hard ones in what is almost certainly the first rant from Iceland. Not everyone is so critical as another submission describes the importance of the Rantcast to the listener’s mental health. Also we have rants about how recipes always leave out one crucial step, waiting on hold for 175 minutes with customer service, online shopping, and more.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ latest special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

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Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

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Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#46 – Rep. Louie Gohmert’s Brain Is In Orbit

June 16, 2021

Did you know that the rubber chicken is not just the mascot for the Rantcast, he is also an accredited member of the press? Along with many news outlets, the rubber chicken can officially report that, in a huge surprise, rich people do not pay taxes. The bird’s usual beat is natural resources, and while attending a House committee meeting, he witnessed Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) espouse two utterly confounding theories about the climate crisis. First, the Congressman asked if it was possible to fix climate change by changing the orbit of the moon around the Earth, and he followed that up by promulgating the hypothesis that caribou need the warmth from oil pipelines to aid in their dating prospects. He said these idiocy-inducing statements at the exact moment that the southwest is in a megadrought and the man-made Lake Mead is at its lowest level since the Hoover Dam was built. Not to be outdone on being a slave to the petrochemical industry, a Louisiana legislator wants to make his dominion a fossil fuel sanctuary state. This in a state whose official motto is “Union, Justice, and Confidence” but is unofficially “Cancer Alley”. Lots more happened this week, but as your host says, the more he pays attention, the less he knows. That’s why he had to send the chicken out to report the news.

Back in the real world, Lewis is going on tour starting next month! If you are planning on seeing a show, it’s worthwhile to join the F.U.C.K.U. fan club. Membership includes ticket pre-sales for great seats, so no ticket brokers, scalpers, or dealing with a certain, shall-not-be-named ticket monopsony.

If you have listened to the Rantcast recently, one of the recurring subjects has been bad customer service from various package delivery services. While we have heard about FedEx, UPS, and DHL, this week it’s the post office’s turn. That’s followed by submissions about getting good at video games, traffic during the pandemic, and moving back home for small town living and finding that small town living is terrible. The balance of the episode is one big civics class with rants about Social Security, the filibuster, NYC elections, America being a bad neighbor to Canada, and the state of Maryland not teaching much Maryland history in Maryland high school history classes. Maybe Louie Gohmert will tune in. It can’t be a worse education than the one he’s already received.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#45 – I’m Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

June 9, 2021

As the collective COVID-induced confusion begins to abate (maybe), one thing has become abundantly clear: the tolerance for nonsense and magic thinking in the country has reached new heights. From the Federal government to state legislatures to your host’s humble center-of-the-universe metropolis, the onslaught of balderdash, hogwash, and malarkey rampages unabated. It starts with the former leader’s delusional warblings about the election having been stolen, which has unleashed a torrent of state laws restricting voting rights when no voter fraud in fact occurred. Many of those very same legislatures have then moved on to an area of expertise they know even less about than voting rights: health departments. In their blinkered understanding of the scientific method and human biology, they have determined that scientists and doctors should not be the people giving out advice about health-related subjects. When you follow the turtles all the way down you reach the point where some Republicans are blaming President Biden for the one dipping sauce per item limit at Chick-Fil-A. It should be obvious now that for all the manufactured desire for a return to normalcy, we were never normal.

And, in completely un-Louis DeJoy-related postal news, did you know that working at the post office is what led Lewis to start smoking?

If the submissions to the Rantcast are any guide, a year of isolation from other humans has not diminished our capacity to be irritated by other humans. As evidence we have rants this week about becoming a misanthrope, annoying grocery store employees, and Boomers who have had it up to here with Zoomers, Millennials, and Gen-Xers. Also, rants about Facebook’s nudity standards, reparations, shipping, Zoom meetings, virtual schooling, two canine-related rants, and an epic tale of pandemic isolation from a merchant mariner.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lewis Black's Rantcast

#44 – Memorial Daze, Or Maybe Texas Should Secede

June 2, 2021

While there is an effort afoot to add our nation’s Capital as a new state, it may be time to let certain other states to secede. The Lone Star state is high on the list to go their own merry way. There are myriad reasons for this, but it starts with the Republican-controlled legislature, who took it upon themselves to honor the sacrifices memorialized on Memorial Day by passing extremely restrictive voting rights laws (enactment TBD). As if infringing the rights of voters wasn’t enough, they also passed an extremely restrictive reproductive rights law, basically telling half the population that they do not have autonomy over their bodies. Also Ted Cruz. The machinations by Texas lawmakers belie a pervasive attitude among GOP politicians that their main purpose is to win elections, by any means necessary, not to actually govern. They are dinosaurs heading to their own oblivion, trying to hurt as many people as possible on the way out. What is needed instead are leaders who have vision and who understand that the point of representative government is to help the people you are representing, not just rich people or the people who donated to your campaign. It’s the decent thing to do.

Also, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un has banned North Korean men from wearing skinny jeans because they are decadent (he’s not wrong), and in this week’s edition of alternate reality news, anti-vaxxers are embracing social distancing to protect themselves from the vaccinated.

While your host does not see himself as a self-help guru, he does know that writing a rant will make you feel better. Your fellow citizens of Rantcast-land produced many excellent submissions this week (and they definitely feel much better), including a few on the benefits and pitfalls of technology, and ones about online dating (with some tips for the gentlemen in the audience), trash pandas, so-called spill-proof gasoline cans, and clothes hangers. To keep things light, we also have rants about the Israel/Palestine conflict, gun rights and Ted Cruz, the Anthropocene, and the Insurrection. Plus, this inscrutable question: why are blue bears used to advertise toilet paper?

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#43 – The United States of Sisyphus

May 26, 2021

As the unofficial start of summer approaches, and we emerge (maybe) from the pandemic, now may seem like the time for hope and optimism. This is not the place for that. Instead, as your host points out, we are living in a continuous Sisyphean loop of politics, where just as it seems we may actually get something done, the boulder of democracy comes rolling back down. Among the things Congress is not getting done: infrastructure, voting rights, and a Jan. 6th insurrection commission. They have plenty of time to grandstand and make specious claims about liberties being infringed, but they can’t actually do the work that they were elected to do. Whatever the cause, it is Congress that is keeping the country from living up to its potential. Simply put, they need to grow up. The view outside the Beltway isn’t much better as the same disputes keep popping up, as if history itself is also stuck in a loop. This can be seen in the conflicts between the Israelis and the Palestinians, between governments and the journalists who dare to criticize them (Belarus), and between the profit motive and a responsible, informative press (Chicago Tribune). The essence of these conflicts is power vs. people and perhaps if we would acknowledge all the differing narratives of history, rather than enforce one overarching story, we could finally get the stone over the hill. 

The homework assignment for this week: use the Memorial Day holiday to discuss the meaning of liberty on both a personal and community level and read the Constitution. Extra credit for anyone who sends in a good Ninth Amendment rant.

This week’s submissions feature responses to rants about transgender athletes and using UPS to ship packages. We also have rants about toddler drivers, having a given name that causes pronunciation and gender confusion, organizing the kitchen, the insurrection, robocalls, and Memorial Day. Plus an extraordinary account from an infection control nurse about the plague of misinformation during the pandemic.

Submit rants to Lewis
https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!
https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast
Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast
Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh
Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u
Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis
Website – http://www.lewisblack.com
Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack
Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack
Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button
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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#42 – It’s This Simple, America Has an Intelligence Shortage

May 19, 2021

Lewis continues his southern sojourn, this time from multiple undisclosed locations in the Tar Heel state. And while the eastern seaboard dealt with the gas shortage, Lewis has a diagnosis for the true cause of what ails America: an intelligence shortage. As evidence: hoarding gas because people thought there was a gas shortage caused the gas shortage. As a sidebar, Lewis thinks all squirrels are rabid, based on no proof, which is confirmation of his own intelligence shortage. It’s OK, because he went to North Carolina to try to find his mind again, and thanks to the comforts of the undisclosed location, and some relaxing rounds of golf, he may be up to 1/3 functional. This is more than can be said for many in our leadership, especially those in charge of our emergence from the pandemic. They appear to be playing a game of three card monte, rather than defining a clear process to return to normalcy as a group. Finally, Lewis encountered an intelligence shortage of the artificial kind. On a customer service call with a major express shipping company, he had to interact with the automated system — he never spoke with a human — and it went about as well as expected. Despite all the differences in the US, we can all agree that you should be able to talk to a human as quickly as possible.

This week we have a special guest ranter and the Rantcast’s reach to the Commonwealth countries keeps going with entries from Australia and Canada. The range of rant topics continues to impress with submissions about unappreciative panhandlers, noxious clouds of now-legal weed, ungrateful customers at various retail establishments, transgender athletes, riding public transportation, having a terrible mom, and guns in Florida. And in a sign of hope for the future, we have a rant about how to behave at a live comedy show.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#41 – Cyber Ninjas, Soon To Be a Netflix Special

May 12, 2021

This week’s Rantcast comes from an undisclosed location in the Tar Heel State, aka North Carolina, where Lewis has traveled to hit the links and visit supermarkets. Did you know that the 12th state’s motto is esse quam videri, Latin for “to be, rather than to seem”? It’s advice that many of our lawmakers have never learned, as from coast to coast “seem” has taken on a higher value than “be”. There’s no need for a resume anymore, BS alone can see you through to the highest reaches of government. In Arizona, a hitherto unheard-of cabal called the Cyber Ninjas was hired to help count the votes that have already been successfully counted and verified. In Florida, Gov. Ron DeSantis signed a bill that eviscerates the state’s voting rights and only invited Fox News to the ceremonial signing. This was appropriately evocative of coverage by the Soviet-era TASS News Agency. And in the hallowed halls of Congress, Liz “waterboarding isn’t torture” Cheney (R-WY) may be replaced in the house leadership by noted acolyte of the former leader Elise Stefanik (R-NY), because she dared to question the Big Lie. Back in the real world, Lewis appeared on the PBS show “Finding Your Roots”, where host Henry Louis Gates, Jr. revealed that he has a cousin who is also a podcast host. Must be in the genes. More importantly, Lewis celebrated Mother’s Day with his mom Jeannette who, in a moment of centenarian clarity, remarked that we shouldn’t celebrate Mother’s Day, because every day is Mother’s Day. Indeed.

The rants this week take on a bit of a British whinge with submissions from the UK praising the NHS and decrying the deterioration of manners. From this side of the pond we have rants about how to make a proper cup of coffee, being whiter than white, the lack of a minority presence at Lewis’ shows, getting dental insurance, (un)equal pay, the changing definition of the American dream, and not one but two rants about dog poop. And more.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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