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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#40 – There Isn’t Much American Culture In Native American Culture

May 5, 2021

After a one-week dental surgery-induced hiatus, the Rantcast is back! A lot happened in that interval, but the eternal question remains: when will we ever get back to being smart? That time is clearly not now as the stupid train rolls on, this time stopping at the door of Rick “Google It” Santorum. The former Pennsylvania Senator propounded the inanity that there was nothing of significance happening on this continent before white Europeans arrived. He seems to be forgetting both the fact that millions of people already lived in the Americas and that the British deemed it a good idea to go to battle wearing bright red coats. The backlash came as expected, with the backlash to the backlash forgetting that there’s a difference between so-called “cancel” culture and the consequences of being dumb as a post. The continuing pandemic revealed more stupidity as the goal of herd immunity slips away because some of the herd have decided they don’t want to wear masks and don’t want to get vaccinated either. This seems like a good moment to point out that the root of the word vaccine comes from the Latin for cow. Speaking of things down on the farm, we now have a chicken wing shortage to add to all our other woes and tribulations. Also infrastructure, lots of infrastructure.

 

The rants (26:06) get off to a fast start with a tryptic covering mask wearing, gendered Happy Meal toys, and how sweet tea has become the default when you ask for iced tea. They pick up steam from there with submissions about fixing the roads (and taxing the rich to do it), the unexpected perils of getting the second vaccine shot (and not in the way you would think), being judged for what you eat, a trip to the auto parts store that becomes a parable of our decrepit infrastructure, privileged parents who have decided the pandemic is over, wasted military spending in Iraq and Afghanistan (somehow also about infrastructure), online shopping and the tyranny of the star ratings system, and a playlet about a trip to Walmart that turned into a math problem for the stupid. And more.

 

The live rants (1:22:00) come from another Vaudeville-era gem, the historic Genesee Theatre in Waukegan, IL, where Lewis performed on Feb. 1, 2020.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

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New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#39 – Bagram, Kandahar, Kabul, Oh My!

April 21, 2021

Back when Lewis was barely AARP age-eligible, US forces invaded Afghanistan and now, nearly 20 years later, your esteemed host is fully qualified for Social Security. And come September, the US military will have fully withdrawn from the Central/South Asian Republic. What did it all mean? Did the US occupation amount to anything? From having done three USO tours there, Lewis has some personal observations: The experience of being there was a truly life-changing experience, akin to an insane LSD trip (not in a bad way); the level of sacrifice from the soldiers there, whatever the justification of the mission, was astonishing; and that saying “thank you” to those who served is meaningless without actually supporting the troops with whatever they need once they return stateside. In other news this week, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip passed away and so did Ponzi scheme perfecter Bernie Madoff. Lewis was once in an ABC miniseries about the latter which featured Richard Dreyfus as Bernie and Blythe Danner as his wife, an experience Lewis felt made drama school finally worth it. Many Republicans have stepped in to fill the chaos void left by the former leader, typified by the proposed America First Caucus, a group of representatives keen on returning the US to its supposed Anglo-Saxon roots. Lewis has a modest proposal for them: if they want to return to a pre-21st century time, let’s take some of that infrastructure money, build a time machine, and send them back to whatever time period they would feel comfortable in. Maybe a plantation would do.

After the mass shootings a few weeks ago, Lewis went on a rant of his own about the need for common sense gun control legislation, and as part of that, asked for rebuttal submissions. So we start this week’s rants with a counter response averring that many proposals to curb gun violence by restricting gun ownership are based on false premises. From there things perk up a bit with rants about the inanity of planning an indoor surprise party during the pandemic, packages being delivered to the wrong address, personal products application confusion, mask wearing, running a small business during the pandemic, and roundabouts. Plus, the rubber chicken controversy continues.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

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Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

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Follow Lewis

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New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#38 – Thoughts & Prayers & Cray, Cray

April 14, 2021

Many subjects divide the denizens of the United States and the list easily comes to mind. Now, we must add the legendary rubber chicken to our culture war. Some consider the chicken’s caterwauling the epitome of crass comedic laziness, while others, including your host, believe that the rubber chicken is a celebrated figure in the history of comedy going back to at least the Vaudeville era as a gag mainstay. Also, Lewis couldn’t afford a real sidekick.

In other areas of American division, there are problems at the southern border, where people from other countries are trying to enter the US; maybe we should stop telling people how great America is if we don’t want them to come here. Mitch McConnell is upset that CEOs are getting involved in voting rights; Kaitlyn Jenner is considering running for governor of California as a Republican, a group of people doing their best to do away with trans people; and to continue the hypocrisy train, the former leader called on his supporters to boycott Coca-Cola products and then was seen drinking Diet Coke. In the really important news of the week, Lewis visited his mom Jeannette at her assisted living facility in Maryland and he got to play golf. So, things are looking up.

The rants keep pouring in, and the diversity of subject matter keeps getting bigger. One submission this week asks why Americans have so much hostility towards the rest of the world, especially the developing world. Another proposes a constitutional amendment that would tie Congressional pay to the minimum wage. And Lewis’ friend Nancy Stanley recounts an incident where she went full mask vigilante at a Trader Joe’s. Plus, we hear about the broken US medical system, bad behavior at national parks, returning to school while the pandemic persists, cheating on your taxes, fun at a Burger King playland, and this conundrum: how do you fix your reading glasses when you need your reading glasses to see so you can fix your reading glass. Also towels.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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Lewis Black's Rantcast

#37 – And the Beat Goes On

April 7, 2021

The signs of spring and renewal are in the air, as Lewis forgoes celebrating Passover and Easter isn’t his thing either. So, no hunting for eggs and no mom’s brisket (not a big loss as Jeannette’s version involved boiling the meat until it was the consistency of rubber). Another sign of spring comes from the start of the baseball season, where Lew’s Baltimore Orioles opened the season with a sweep of the hated Boston Red Sox. Despite this early season success, they are still an insult to birds nationwide. In other baseball news, the 2021 All Star Game was moved out of Georgia as a protest against their recently enacted restrictive voting law. This is not cancel culture, but an otherwise conservative organization understanding which side of history they want to be on. Renewal was also a theme in the political world, as the Biden administration proposed a sweeping (but not sweeping enough for some people) infrastructure bill. Will it cost a lot of money? Yes, but it’s necessary to bring us into the 21st century. You get what you pay for, and right now we are paying just enough to be 13th in the world. And in further signs of renewal, a gay pride-themed lifeguard tower in Long Beach, CA that had been burned down will be rebuilt “gayer” then before, and Lewis ventured out into his bustling metropolis and got a haircut.

A bevy of rants arrived this week, so there’s no live replay. Instead, we have diatribes about the struggle to retrieve a forgotten iPad password, New York legalizing weed, gay self-identification, car auctions, assembling furniture from an unnamed (Swedish) store, escargot, the hematological dangers of blister packaging, and the importance of doing your research. We also had several pandemic-related rants including ones about online dating, working at a supermarket, and neighborhood games. Also f*&k Ted Cruz.

Submit rants to Lewis
https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!
https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast
Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast
Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh
Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u
Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis
Website – http://www.lewisblack.com
Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack
Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack
Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button
For advertising opportunities email: advertise@thelaughbutton.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lewis Black's Rantcast

#36 – When Gun Violence Hits, Common Sense Is The First Casualty

March 31, 2021

Another week, another mass shooting. And Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) had a completely inappropriate, but totally within character response, wherein he disingenuously claimed that any attempt to curtail gun violence can be seen as mere theatrics. (It bears repeating that Sen. Cruz attended Princeton and Harvard Law School and their admissions departments have a lot of explaining to do.) The parade of bad faith policy making rolled on, this time in the Peach State, where Georgia Republicans passed a 90-page bill severely restricting voting rights. That’s a lot of words to obscure the simple message, “we don’t want black people to vote”. It wasn’t all bad news down South, as the Alabama legislature relaxed the ban on teaching Yoga in schools once it was explained that stretching is in no way an endorsement of Hinduism. The little ones still must be shielded from speaking a non-English word, in this case “namaste”. In other good news, Lewis had successful Nitrous-aided dental surgery, he filled out an application for a job at a Sonoma County vineyard, and it was announced that his play “One Slight Hitch” will be performed at a Covid-restricted 25-seat theatre in Bengaluru, India. It’s not Broadway, but at least they are open for business. Also, unlike some people, Lewis has nothing but good things to say about Dominion Voting Systems.

Not all the rants are funny this week, and not all the rants need to be rants. Need some advice? Lewis can be a great resource for all your interpersonal relationship questions, such as, how do I politely disinvite my mother-in-law-to-be from my bachelorette party she invited herself to? And maybe it’s the ongoing pandemic, but the nitty-gritty annoyances of procuring foodstuffs also took a big place in the rants. Pizza, circus peanuts, cinnamon buns, and Happy Meals all showed up along with some lighthearted rants about racism, sexism, the minimum wage, police brutality, poverty, and millennials. Also parking.

The live rants come from the Soaring Eagle (NOT Spread Eagle) Casino in Mt. Pleasant, MI. And as always, we want to thank the Saginaw-Chippewa Nation for being such gracious hosts.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

For advertising opportunities email: advertise@thelaughbutton.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lewis Black's Rantcast

#35 – My Brackets Are Broken, Does That Mean Spring Break Will Break Us?

March 24, 2021

The madness in America continued this week on many levels and in many forms. Spring breakers descended on Miami causing chaos of near catastrophic proportions. No masks, no problem, as the Florida free-for-all mentality meant that everything was allowable, as long as someone was making money from it. March Madness, a.k.a. the NCAA Tournament began and Lewis felt guilty for watching but it provided a necessary distraction. What did he need a distraction from? The sinister madness, the one that leads people to kill other people because of how they look or where they come from. That madness is compounded by law enforcement officials who characterize the perpetrator as “having a bad day”. In addition to the madness, there was the usual stupidity. Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) did something stupid. Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) did something stupid. And a bank robber used a loaner BMW to do something stupid. Ingenious, but also stupid. Finally, and in an unrelated matter, if you’re in the Tulsa area, take a tour of Oral Roberts University. It will be worth your time.

The rants keep rolling in, and this week they take on the gamut of subjects including spam email, school funding, sexism, racism, not-so-durable durable goods, daylight savings time, judge-y fellow parents, the difficulties of being a nurse during the pandemic, and for the first time in the history of the Rants, one about being an identical twin.

The live rants come from one of the classic Vaudeville venues in America, the Coronado Theater in Rockford, IL. To promote the show, Lewis tried his hand as an advertising maven, ordering splashy billboards on the local highways. Apparently what works for casinos doesn’t necessarily apply to comedians, as the exact same number of people showed up as the last time he performed there. But it was a great show in a great setting.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

For advertising opportunities email: advertise@thelaughbutton.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lewis Black's Rantcast

#34 – The Stupid Just Get Stupider

March 17, 2021

Another week, another Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) verbal inanity. This time he claimed he was more afraid of Black Lives Matter and Antifa, than the insurrectionists who actually attacked the Capitol on January 6th. In further “I’m Just A Bill” news, the American Rescue Plan passed and was signed into law by President Biden, all without a single GOP vote, leaving Lewis to wonder what exactly Republican lawmakers think their job in Washington is. Helping the American people doesn’t seem to be it. This week also marked the one year anniversary of the beginning of the Covid-19 lockdown, and every news outlet spent it memorializing and remembering a hell that is ongoing. What does Lewis remember? The vertigo-inducing moment when he realized the leader was going to nothing to protect the American people. And it was one year ago, on March 13, 2020, that Lewis performed for the last time prior to the lockdown. He then fled the scene and hightailed it back to New York to spend the next 10 weeks in isolation. On the plus side he got to visit a Walmart for the first time.

This week’s rant subjects include a list of new Amendments to the Constitution, a Norwegian perspective on safe social distancing, Fruity Pebbles coffee creamer, skeuomorphic design in software UI design, cell phone bills, the corporatization of children’s gifts, teachers being deemed non-essential during the pandemic, people driving while using their cell phones as speaker phones, and a rebuttal to last week’s rant about Netflix and having to read subtitles for foreign films.

The live rants come from the historic Hoyt Sherman Theater in Des Moines, IA. 

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

For advertising opportunities email: advertise@thelaughbutton.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lewis Black's Rantcast

#33 – Sen. Ron Johnson Gives Jackasses a Bad Name

March 10, 2021

Congress managed to actually pass a law, the American Rescue Plan, but not before Sen. Ron Johnson (R-WI) used valuable legislative time to have the full text read on the Senate floor, rather than discuss why he’s opposed to it. The House also passed the For The People Act, and Lewis, a voting rights ambassador for the ACLU, has some choice words for those who act to restrict the franchise. Also, something happened with Meghan and Harry and Oprah.

This rants this week include an interesting perspective on the pandemic lifestyle; a 10-point diatribe about how the Netflix interface operates; a plea to let the pharmacists on the front lines of Covid testing and vaccines do their jobs, without corporate interference; a trilogy of takes on the Dr. Seuss publishing controversy; a rumination in wonderment on where the class consciousness is; and finally, a combustible and epic tale of chasing an insurance payout check through the labyrinthine complexities of the American banking, insurance, and mail systems.

In a nice reminder of why voting matters, the live rants come from Iowa City, IA, where Lewis performed just before the 2020 caucuses.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

For advertising opportunities email: advertise@thelaughbutton.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lewis Black's Rantcast

#32 – Orlando Is No Cancun

March 3, 2021

The rubber chicken joins the fight for $15, as the junior senator from Texas, fresh off his quick sojourn to Cancun, popped up at the CPAC convention. Ted Cruz was in Orlando alongside the former leader and a mob of maskless minions, all there to pretend that Joe Biden isn’t president and that nothing happened at the Capitol on January 6th. Sen. McConnell, now the minority leader, plays it both ways in the fallout of impeachment number 2, showing that there is no issue he can’t squirm his way clear of. And to fix all that ails our country, Lewis proposes a new constitutional amendment that would create pyrotechnic consequences for officials who lie to the public. Let’s get Amendment no. 28 on the books! Finally, in international news, the oldest living person, a 117-year old woman from France has survived the pandemic. In true Gallic fashion she celebrated with Champagne and foie gras. Lewis heartily approves.

This week’s rants include a discourse on how to properly cook chicken, the state of school safety in the Covid Era, the plight of a gay man in Kentucky where things took a turn for the worse in 2016, the fine art of laziness, and as if travel weren’t hard enough right now, why, oh why, do they not serve alcohol on airplanes. The live rants come from Rochester, MN, home of the Mayo Clinic and the best muffins in America.

Submit rants to Lewis

https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!

https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast

Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast

Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh

Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u

Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis

Website – http://www.lewisblack.com

Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack

Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

Youtube – https://www.youtube.com/OfficialLewisBlack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lewis Black's Rantcast

#31 – When The Going Gets Tough, Ted Cruz Goes To Cancun

February 24, 2021

Just when its citizens needed help the most, Texas leaders take vacations and Lewis has a few thoughts about leadership from Ted Cruz on down. Speaking of leadership, our former Leader is having a bit of an issue with his tax returns, but that’s okay! According to Q-Anon he’s going to assume the Presidency again on March 4th, hooray!

This week users brought Lewis yet another constitutional amendment followed immediately a risk analyst who really wonders about the liability 55 gallons of personal lubricant. An old school complaint re-emerges with a modern twist, a rant in 3 codas, people with odd company loyalties, a lady requesting Lewis curse for her, the age old debate about senses of humor, and a woman who wonders why her son is averse to hygiene. By pure serendipity, the live rants come from Houston this week, much love to the people of Texas right now.

Submit rants to Lewis
https://www.lewisblack.com/live

Lewis’ new special, Thanks For Risking Your Life is available now!
https://tlbrecords.lnk.to/LewisWE

Subscribe to Lewis Black’s Rantcast
Apple – https://bit.ly/rantcast
Spotify – https://spoti.fi/3oNaPFh
Google – https://bit.ly/37Zb35u
Amazon – https://amzn.to/37bg8Za

Follow Lewis
Website – http://www.lewisblack.com
Instagram – http://www.instagram.com/thelewisblack
Twitter – https://twitter.com/thelewisblack
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/thelewisblack

New episodes arrive every Wednesday via The Laugh Button

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