Stephen Colbert has long held a hatred of bears, or as he calls them “godless killing machines.” But bears are not the biggest evil Americans face. While Good Morning America opened up sweeps week with their bear attack survival guide, Colbert countered his his bucket and pail survival guide on The Colbert Report. Turns out buckets and pails injure way more people than bears or sharks. Colbert’s segment took a turn for the worse when he was attacked by a bucket, but he was quickly saved by… a bear. In that moment, Colbert reconciled with bears everywhere and got very friendly with his new savior.