One of our favorite things to do here during a Comedy Central Roast is follow Jesse Joyce’s twitter timeline @jessejoyce. Joyce, one of the writers for many years now starting with 2007’s burn of Flavor Flav, tweets out all of his unused jokes from the show. And they are fantastic. Joyce wrote for hit Comedy Central show @midnight. Additionally comedian and writer Kurt Metzger delivered us his unused jokes from the show as well via his facebook page which, if you don’t already read, you should. Metzger is currently writing on Inside Amy Schumer. And finally, we’ve also collected the unused jokes from writer Kevin Schini via his twitter @KevinSchini. Schini has written for the Roasts of Franco and Sheen and was an associate producer on The Burn with Jeff Ross. Finally, writer Josh Comers simply tweeted, “I’d tweet all my roast jokes that didn’t get in, but every joke I wrote made it on and killed. #BieberRoast.”
Well, let’s get to it. All the jokes you didn’t get to hear or see direct from some of the writers.
Jesse Joyce – @jessejoyce
Kevin Hart is here. I’m just letting you know that’s who that is so you didn’t think Shaq wiped a booger on the podium.
Kevin Hart was pulled over for drunk driving. Fortunately the cop saw Kevin’s comedy specials, so he arrested him for mugging.
Kev cheated cause he didn’t get enough attention at home. They had sex daily but she didn’t book 6 press conferences every time.
Justin Bieber is an asshole… but you know what they say… You can’t make an asshole without breaking some eggs.
Biebs did an Ice Bucket Challenge video. I assume there was ice in the bucket he peed in. No one’s dick is naturally that small.
Justin, an effeminate Canadian w/ a fondness for monkeys hasn’t gone viral this fast since that flight attendant gave us AIDS.
Nick Cannon discovered Pete Davidson & made him a star. I hope that happens to Jeff Ross… that he gets blown up by a cannon.
Shaq’s nickname is “Diesel” because if you accidentally put it in your car it’ll never run right again.
When Pete Davidson got on SNL he received a personal memo from President Clinton. Pete chose not to open the one from President Bush, cause one time Bush sent a private memo and it killed his dad.
If Ludacris were any drunker right now Justin would try to give him a father’s day card.
Ludacris is Native American and his wife is from West Africa, so we may never know the real reason their blankets have diseases.